Love’s Struggle
Excerpt from Men-The Gods of Love, Chapter 13: The Struggle for Love
The cycle of struggling for love and defending against it, which precludes it, is called codependency. A Codependent Personality consists of a dysfunctional relationship with oneself, characterized by living through, or for, another person(s) and includes attempts to control others, blame others, and/or a perceived sense of victimhood. There are attempts to “fix” others, and intense anxiety surrounds intimacy. A perspective exists like, “I have no idea who I am; I need others to tell me this.” Further, the codependent may be asked to open its heart as a mature being. Now, that is an illusion in the mind of another codependent. Many begin relationships with this as a foundation. This dysfunction will often create intense struggles with life, love, jobs, and so on.
Outer struggles in the environment reflect the inner struggles that the codependent is involved in.
At the same time, a codependent will often resist and/or sabotage the very things they covet. This keeps them in the struggle, which really boils down to the struggle to not feel the pain stemming from the struggle to love one’s self. What does this mean?
All addictions are a distraction from feeling something that the addict can’t or won’t deal with. Struggle is an addiction to turmoil/chaos, which keeps the addict distracted from their inner turmoil/chaos.
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