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“Boys will be boys,” is an all-encompassing rationale for male behavior. What does that mean? How do boys learn to be “boys,” who teaches them? What riddles must they figure out on their own?
Boys are influenced from an early age to act and think in ways often contrary to their true nature. This leaves them mired in conflict and uncertainty almost from birth. During early childhood, boys become aware of sexual difference, and simple questions arise like: “I’ve got a penis - now what?” Then, there develops deeper questioning about the nature of life and being a “man.” Boys resolve these questions by imitating others and by training. For example, the role of hero, protector, and provider is a given. It is the model for being a man accepted for eons. It is so ingrained into society that one might consider it genetic. These roles create conflict within men, not to mention between them and women, leaving so many living unfulfilled lives - seemingly without options.
Ways we learn about being male growing up are derived from observing and interacting with our fathers, friends, heroes, and peers that we imitate. But where did these important sources get their knowledge from; who taught them? It came from their ancestors, of course. Our basic beliefs are based upon what others have been taught and passed down, generation after generation. The human race has mostly imitated history, not learned from it. There has got to be another way!
There is - it is through questioning who we are and the correctness of what we were taught that we can evolve our beliefs. This requires the courage to question the way things are.
Women think men should act more like them: being in touch with feelings, embracing intuition, showing sensitivity, and expressing compassion. Certainly, men could benefit by adding these attributes, but naturally women portray them as women would, not as men should. Men are not women and should not act like women. Doing so results in men being feminized, emasculated. Yet, men can be compassionate and have feelings and express them in a masculine manner. So how can they add these qualities without being feminized? It is through the masculine expression of these inner qualities. I call this inner feeling nature the “inner feminine.” These elements are already inside men; they are just presently disallowed and lay dormant. This throws off the proper balance in men and wreaks havoc not only on them but on everyone around.
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